Fortune Buff Pillows

'Ummmh... would you please pay me right now and in cash, sir?'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

Zika Mosquitos

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

The Good Boys - Bill Gates and Warren Buffett

'It's some sort of side effect of swine flu!'

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

'Gasp! Wheez! Nobody told me that once you have a heart you also need cardio!'

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

Vaccinating the Easter Bunny

Gym. Stay young through diet and exercise. I find it much easier to just lie about my age.

Hairy Potter and friend..

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

This guy smells like he just got the Covid vaccine. Do you think it's safe to bite him?

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

Doctor to man: 'Laughter is the best medicine, but it's not covered in your health plan.'

'Breath in,Miss Benson...breath in!'

'What a year! No sooner do I get rid of one cod than, somehow or other, I catch another one.'