Health Buffs Pillows

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'I could have had a V-8!'

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

Zika Mosquitos

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

"It's a plant based solution."

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

"Oh believe me, I know full well the importance of nutrition: If I had been fed more Royal Jelly, I would be a queen now..."

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'

'I had a larger sample for you but I had trouble getting the lid back on. . .'

This guy smells like he just got the Covid vaccine. Do you think it's safe to bite him?

Gym. Stay young through diet and exercise. I find it much easier to just lie about my age.

'It's some sort of side effect of swine flu!'

"I'm looking over your results, Mr. Dumpty...and your cholesterol is dangerously high!"

'Gasp! Wheez! Nobody told me that once you have a heart you also need cardio!'

Vaccinating the Easter Bunny

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

Doctor to man: 'Laughter is the best medicine, but it's not covered in your health plan.'

'No thank you, I'm on a diet: I've noticed that the fat ones disappear first...'