Holistic Health Buff Pillows

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Alternative Medicine.

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"We've geared up our American company to provide PPE for our healthcare providers, and we need 'Made in the USA' tags to on 'em! Problem is, USA tags are all Made In China."

Acupuncture clinic

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

'It's anxiety. Don't worry, vitamin B happy.'

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

Zika Mosquitos

Connect This, Woo-Woos

'In factory farms they're fed antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and even arsenic. We give them a lot less of the antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and arsenic.'

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

Alternative medicine

DHSC considering as-yet unlicensed flu vaccines to boost supply

Right, like you're the first shrink to recommend aromatherapy.