Benefit Buffs Gifts

Social Security benefits are rising...But the system's runnin out of bread.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

Labor Day '19

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

Toy Store/Battery Store

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

Conspiracy Theory Books

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

'This is really going to tarnish his legacy, Al.'

"It's a plant based solution."

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

Zika Mosquitos

Vote Smith. That guy is a perpetual candidate - He's always running for something. He has a "promising" career!

'An ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure, but that was before Medicare.'

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

'Gasp! Wheez! Nobody told me that once you have a heart you also need cardio!'

"But, Senator, all the cool kids were doing it."

'It's some sort of side effect of swine flu!'

'Since you were previously self-employed, you shouldn't mind working for us without a health plan.'

Gym. Stay young through diet and exercise. I find it much easier to just lie about my age.

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

Vaccinating the Easter Bunny

This guy smells like he just got the Covid vaccine. Do you think it's safe to bite him?

Doctor to man: 'Laughter is the best medicine, but it's not covered in your health plan.'