Being A Groomsman Gifts

Groomsman

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Lesser known greek gods,

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Bathing the dog

Dogs shaving

Emergency Hipster Beard

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"Too much concealer?"

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"Absolutely not!"

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Be creative...!"

'He does.'