Being A Groomsman Gifts

Groomsman

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Lesser known greek gods,

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

Bathing the dog

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Absolutely not!"

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

'He does.'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

Dogs shaving

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Too much concealer?"