Groomsmen Gifts

*Hiccup* - '*Hiccup*' - 'Only three days left, Peter.'

'Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to take a 'smoking break' half way through the service.'

'If she's that upset about the football match we're playing in this afternoon, what's she going to be like when she hears about the darts match this evening?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'He does.'

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"Do you, Halfomild Tellycelebrtipewhoo-hoo, promise to brush up on matters such as the Hadron Collider?"

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

'Okay, so you were right; maybe figuring 13 bottles of wine per person was a little too much.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Wedding Fayre

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get a tattoo removed"