Beer Alchemist T-Shirts

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Yoga for Alcoholics

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

Beer Stall

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'We'll take it!'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

Alcohol Ingredients

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

'So what if she only brew a few cases a year. We can still do business.'

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

Where Cream Ale comes from