Brew Artisan T-Shirts

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Toadstools

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Beer Stall

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Bottle Distillery

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

My dad makes his own beer.

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

Ernie is a master brewer! He's highly skilled in every phase of the beer-making process! Business is booming at our craft beer pub! Ernie, are those ladies old enough to buy beer? I didn't ask for I.D. I didn't want to violate the no "dating" the customers policy. Ernie is an absolute genius about beer, but lacks common sense about everything else! (Published originally on Nov. 8, 2015.)

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

Tea Snob.

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

Joe's Bar - Two Kegs Any Style $49.95

"Tap anywhere to begin."

Beer Lunch

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'