Cocktail Alchemist T-Shirts

"The thing you have to know about quicksand is the faster you shake the shaker the faster you sink,"

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

'Samshu and kummel made a lowery mix.'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Yoga for Alcoholics

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'Steak Ted?'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

'The first cocktail.'

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

Anton's Bar and Grill

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"Do you want a drink or do you need a drink ? We're very busy...."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

The New Square Mile Regulator.

"Wow! I must be dreaming!"

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

Bar Therapy

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

Alcohol Ingredients

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

Fallen Angel.

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."