Cocktail Consultant T-Shirts

Have you been living in the moment, Al? Living in the moment? I thought you said I should be living it up in the moment! Frankly, the hangovers are killing me!

A Good Batch.

'Steak Ted?'

Join me in a Martini?

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"I forget to drink."

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

'The first cocktail.'

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

"Do you want a drink or do you need a drink ? We're very busy...."

My first mistake.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

The New Square Mile Regulator.

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

Bar Therapy

'It was a lot more congenial when we had happy hour.'

'We're not exact clones - he likes his martini shaken, and I prefer mine stirred.'

'What is wrong with brother Sebastian?'

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

Fallen Angel.

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."