Cocktail Chemist T-Shirts

"Do you think terrorists could ever poison the vodka supply?"

"Do you want a drink or do you need a drink ? We're very busy...."

'No, I'm not here to grant your wishes. I'm here to tell you that you've had way too much to drink and you're starting to hallucinate!'

"Glad you like the beer. I put a little Prozac in it."

A sign at a bar above some stools reads "Express Stools (3 drinks or less)".

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Now that's she mastered martinis, let's move on to daquiris."

'You say that alcohol is a slow poison? Well I'm in no hurry.'

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

Prozac Pub.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'...well Martha's just converting some alcohol to acetaldehyde and then to acetate, and then to CO2 and water but I can get her to call you later...'

'Have you heard about alcoholic's anonymous Russian roulette?'

"If you drink two alcopops on a Monday, three on Wednesay and a further five over the weekend, how many units will you have consumed?"

Blue Blazer

Gin-etic Engineering

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

A Good Batch.

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Steak Ted?'

Party Animals.

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Join me in a Martini?

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"I love this time of day."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Superheroes Having a Drink

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'