Bedtime Procrastinator Gifts

Children's Dream Bedtime Routine

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Serious Putty

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

'... I couldn't remember if I had switched off the light!'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"Spare me the early bird lecture."

Sleeping masks

Please take them off

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

"Must you bring your work to bed?"

"I lost my reading glasses, so pick something wordless."

'You shouldn't give that to a kid before bedtime. You know that will just wind him up.'

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

'Well. . . she's exceptionally distracted.'

The Force of Example.

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

Bedtime Reading

"Finally, something I know I'll finish."

"Please! Just let me stay up one more hour. Then I promise I'll fall asleep right here in front of the TV."

"See you in the morning."

"Your desk is in here now. After all, it's where you spend most of the working day!"

Bed time stories

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

'The problem being a kid is that the hours are lousy!'