Sleep Procrastinator Gifts

"Please! Just let me stay up one more hour. Then I promise I'll fall asleep right here in front of the TV."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Serious Putty

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

The Forever Stamp

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

"Spare me the early bird lecture."

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

Holiday Shopping for Guys

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

"Thanks for coming in on the weekend....although let's admit it, you took a nap at your desk that happened to last all night..."

I was a day late and a dollar short, but it was a personal best!

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

"How about fashionably never?"

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Desk bins: 'Action' 'Action-Worthy' 'Action-ific'... 'Actually Done' (Nothing).