Habitual Procrastinator Gifts

"Shannon, some work wound up on my desk again."

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Travelogue

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

The Forever Stamp

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Working from home to-do list.

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

The Procrastinatorium.

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

Trust your instinct...listen to that little haunting voice that gives you subtle messages...'call in sick.'

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

Bummer Time Streaming

"Thanks for coming in on the weekend....although let's admit it, you took a nap at your desk that happened to last all night..."

"How about fashionably never?"

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

Desk bins: 'Action' 'Action-Worthy' 'Action-ific'... 'Actually Done' (Nothing).