Perpetual Procrastinator Gifts

Fred raises the "Late Bloomer" bar to a new level.

The Forever Stamp

"I'm too busy going to college to study."

"I can't go job hunting. I don't have a permit."

"It's OK to close tabs. Just click on it. Once you realize that you don't need that many open, it'll get easier. You can do this!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Travelogue

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Working from home to-do list.

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'Tony says he'll marry you when he gets back from his poker run. It totally slipped his mind that it was this weekend.'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

The Procrastinatorium.

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'