Bedtime Gifts

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Freddie, the Little Merger Mogul, didn't expect to have a monopoly right away...'

"'Moby-Dick'? Again?"

"And what's the story behind the story?"

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

"Maybe little Jack Horner became argumentative because he was backed into a corner, leaving him no options."

"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

'Once upon a time...'

"Have you chosen your bedtime story yet, Tommy?"

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

'I'm going to say prayers. Anybody want anything?'

"Wow, your parents let you stay up all night!"

'Okay, one more saga and then off you go to sleep.'

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'... And they lived happily ever after, until she got pregnant and had a couple of brats who wouldn't go to sleep!'

'Okay, one book. But if I catch you skipping pages we start over.'

"Because it'll put you to sleep. That's why I'm reading you the third quarter report."

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

'Mum, how come we're always the bad guys in bed-time stories?...'

'Mum, how come we're always the bad guys in bed-time stories?...'

"Before I begin, I should issue a Tigger warning."

'Then the king rewrote the tax code so everyone could understand it, and all the CPAs went out of business.'

'But Mum, I don't want to go inside to hibernate: I'm not even tired...'

"Can't you just look at the pictures,daddy? Some of us have to get up for school in the morning!"

'And that's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, according to the Brothers Grimm.'

'Look - when I read you a fairy tale, don't keep saying 'Really?' '

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'And the Princess said, 'Please listen carefully as the menu has changed. Press one if...''

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Oh no, I put Rusty out. But man! I have an awful stomache ache! I think I need ice cream....separate bowls.'

So the prince and princess lived happily ever after, but elsewhere, fighting continued.

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

'An owl and a pussycat? -- Is that even legal?'