Bedtime Believer Gifts

'Ditto.'

'Hey, God - it's me, Freddie! But You already knew that, right?'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'Where was the TSA?'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"Time for bed, guys."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

Father nursing his sick child

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

'And you thought you grew big pumpkins.'

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

Fairtale prosecutions.

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

You read me a story about a workaholic little engine, and you expect it to make me sleepy?

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

Stop hogging the sheets

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"And what's the story behind the story?"