Bedtime Enthusiasts Gifts

Dreams.

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

Monsters won't eat you if they're not hungry. So, each night, Mom makes it a sandwich. If I keep my room tidy.

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"And so, with thee help of their relate counsellor, they lived happily ever after..."

"She then bit into the poison apple, hoping it would fend off the hostile takeover."

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"Any other refrences besides the Three Bears?"

'. . . and in the twinkling of an eyes, the festive feeding frenzy began.'

Bear Porridge

When hunters read bedtime stories.

"She always gets the upper bunk."

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

" 'Goodnight room. Goodnight moon.' "

Sleeping masks

Please take them off

"The Three Wise Men followed a star...wasn't their GPS working?"

'So the little boy who missed his bedtime was eaten by the awful slimy monster and was never heard from again.'

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

A mobile phone reads bedtime stories.

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

"Stop fact checking my story."

Goodnight Moon

'You read him Jack and the Beanstalk again, didn't you?'