Bedtime Believers Gifts

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my payers now!"

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'Where was the TSA?'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Time for bed, guys."

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

Father nursing his sick child

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

'And you thought you grew big pumpkins.'

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

Fairtale prosecutions.

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"And what's the story behind the story?"

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."