Bedtime Ritual Gifts

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

Father reading a bedtime story to his daughter.

"Ah, the rituals of childhood. Being tucked-in, kissing good night, trolling social media till dawn."

'... and instead of a brain, the wizard gave the scarecrow a smart phone.'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

'Please, mom, can't you read me one more bedtime tweet?'

"I have made some notes about last night's story, that I would like you to clarify."

We have mandatory retirement at my house, too. They make me go to bed by eight-thirty.

"Wow, Grandma. Your bedtime stories rock!"

"Alexa, read Tommy a bed time story."

'How 'bout finishing the story, mom. It's past dad's bedtime.'

'Once-upon-a-time about two years ago...'

Please read my favourite bedtime story, it always has a sleepy ending.

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

'Mom...do all fairy tales begin with 'once upon a time...?'

'Teddy's asleep, Mom. But I'll need two more chapters.'

"His nose grew every time he lied? That must've taken all the fun out of fishing."

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'