Bedtime Scholars Gifts

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'Where was the TSA?'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"Well did he?"

"Time for bed, guys."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"Think about the honey."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

Fairtale prosecutions.

'And you thought you grew big pumpkins.'

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"And what's the story behind the story?"

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'