Bedtime Scholars T-Shirts

Instead of caps and gowns, night school graduates have to wear nightcaps and nightgowns.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'Where was the TSA?'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"Well did he?"

"Time for bed, guys."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"Think about the honey."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

Fairtale prosecutions.

'And you thought you grew big pumpkins.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

You read me a story about a workaholic little engine, and you expect it to make me sleepy?

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"And what's the story behind the story?"