Bedroom Banter Fan Gifts

"That's kingsize?"

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

Fly fishing.

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

'I'm terribly sorry. I thought it said 'gods'.'

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

"Looks like it's going to be a nice day."

A couple with dog look at restroom signs of a man, a woman, and a fire hydrant.

Bed & Breakfast

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

Propriety

'At least I get my stretching exercises done when I use the restroom here.'

Dead & Breakfast.

Hand takes a shower,

'Don't go near the sludge!'

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

The Forgotten Men's Club

Mermaid Portaloo.

"Oh year?! Well, MY daddy is the largest of the largest animal species on earth!"

'Honestly, if you're looking in Loch Ness you're way off!'

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."

'Quit the act? That's not you, boss--that's the drink talking.'