Bird Banter Fan Gifts

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

Marcel Marceau's parrot

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

'Psst...e=mc?.'

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'You're listening to no repeat radio where we never play the same song twice! Yeah! No repeat radio! Where you'll never hear the same song twice! Only on no repeat radio!'

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

Tightrope Walker Over-Balances.

Blackbirds.

"Who's a pretty boy?"

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

'CROOOAX! If we ever want to sell this damned parrot, we better not anybody what he has done to his previous owners... CROOOAX! If we ever want...'

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

"Let's go to one of those places where they regurgitate the meal right at your table."

Squawk dirty to me...

You are what you collect.

"Stop repeating everything I say birdbrain!"

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

Propriety

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

Birds sitting in high wire walker's way...

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

The Forgotten Men's Club

Boy scout helping a bird with a walking stick cross the road.

A real turkey lunch.

"Yep, it's irritable fowl syndrome alright."

'Quit the act? That's not you, boss--that's the drink talking.'