Beauty Parlor Regular Gifts

'They're getting divorced. I heard it in the beauty parlor and I confirmed it on the divorce website.'

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Complementary Beverages

Happy hour.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'

Woman Curls Her Dog.

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

Beauty Bee

"Rare, medium or well done?"

HAPPY HOUR 4:30-5:30, 'Oh, the prices don't change -- we just serve the beer in cartoon-character glasses.'

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

The Double-Negative Bar & Grille. Not Unhappy Hour 5-6.

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

'Lovely private view . . . must come again to see the pictures.'

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

'Why don't you look like Jennifer Aniston, you're the same age.'

"I'll be glad when I get rid of this handover!"

"Shall I give your eyebrows a little touch up, Miss?"

The First Wax Strip of Spring!

"Oh, don't mind him. He comes here to get warmed over."

"You're doing too much, Mort." "I don't know what you mean." "Optimum scruffiness is a delicate balance. One cannot have both wild hair and a wild mustache. It must be one or the other." "What about Einstein? He was behaired all over the place." "The only exceptions are for hobos, bikers and the big-brained." "I rode my Huffy here, does that count?"

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

'It isn't every day that a client gives me a free hand to be creative.'

Fashionistas 2012 - 'I'm Rapunzel!'

Man Falls Asleep At The Hairdressers.

Returns: Curling Iron.