Beauty Regimen Gifts

The last ever picture of Gary, minutes before he squeezed his spot.

Spa

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Curling your hair for no reason

'Mom's Spa'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Woman Curls Her Dog.

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

Vanity artist

"Believe me, you never looked better since you fell into that vast of skin cream."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

Botox sharpei

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

"Imagine freedom 175 years from now when we can post our beauty routines for money."

Red in tooth and claw.

'You don't have to worry about me, I just want to know who does your nails.'

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

A couple lie in bed

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

Flower growing out of a face mask

'For a present I gave my wife £10000 for plastic surgery. Now I can't find her!'

Beauty Shop

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

'I'd like to move into aromatherapy.'