Beauty Routine Lover Gifts

Woman Curls Her Dog.

Spa

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Curling your hair for no reason

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Waking Up With Rooster.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Vanity artist

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

"I'd like to see you every Tuesday, forever."

Butterfly Woman

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

A couple lie in bed

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Red in tooth and claw.

"So what's your success rate?"

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

"Imagine freedom 175 years from now when we can post our beauty routines for money."

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

Vampire sprinkles blood bath in bath water

"He misses his commute ."

'Someone ought to tell Rapunzel about a good dandruff shampoo.'

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

Are we a bunch of losers? Who are you talking about? Me, Randy, Sadie, even you Uncle Mort – all of us cafe regulars. We've been hanging out at this place for years. I've been working here two decades. Do we have nowhere else to go? More powerful even than inertia: Any momentum killed by an uncompromising nap regimen. Zzzz.