Beauty Routine Explorer Gifts

Red in tooth and claw.

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

PROBLEM AREAS

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Curling your hair for no reason

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

Woman Curls Her Dog.

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

Vanity artist

'I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon. It's non habit forming. I should know. I've been drinking a glass every day for twenty years.'

A couple lie in bed

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

"Imagine freedom 175 years from now when we can post our beauty routines for money."

Dating is so expensive...

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

Vampire sprinkles blood bath in bath water

Obstetrics, Gynecology and Waxing.

'It's more like a very good used you.'

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

'Holy shit!'

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

Virtual Super-Model.

Morning Routine

'Why don't you look like Jennifer Aniston, you're the same age.'

"This is more than a look. This is a context."

Family Curling Habits

'I'm going to break you like a dry twig!' 'I think not! I use moisturiser cream.'

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

"In your case I think glasses would work better than contact lenses..."

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'