Beauty Routine Lover Pillows

Woman Curls Her Dog.

Spa

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Curling your hair for no reason

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Waking Up With Rooster.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'Do something, Alan...he's been playing in the mud again!'

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.

"I'd like to see you every Tuesday, forever."

Vanity artist

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

Butterfly Woman

A couple lie in bed

'My boyfriend is meeting me when I hit the ground.'

Red in tooth and claw.

"So what's your success rate?"

"Rare, medium or well done?"

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"Imagine freedom 175 years from now when we can post our beauty routines for money."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

'Someone ought to tell Rapunzel about a good dandruff shampoo.'

"He misses his commute ."

Vampire sprinkles blood bath in bath water

Anyone seen my curling tongs?

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

Plain ol' me.