Beauty Shop Regulars Gifts

'Now, don't get all bent out of shape -- it was just a strip poker game down at the beauty shop.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Lesser known greek gods,

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Hair spray"

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

'Botox.'

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

'Medium well, please.'

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

"It turs out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"So what's your success rate?"

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

"My secretary just made me aware of the necessity of investing in the beauty industry."

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

When he saw her first strands of grey hair he thought she'd dye.

"You have a very rare conditioner."

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

Week three, things started to get ugly.

"One can often infer things about the environment from the overall health of the bird population."

"You mean to say you haven't even put your face on yet?"

50 Shades of Brown: Tanning Salon

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."