Beauty Shop Regulars Gifts

'Now, don't get all bent out of shape -- it was just a strip poker game down at the beauty shop.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Lesser known greek gods,

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Hair spray"

'Botox.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

'Medium well, please.'

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

"So what's your success rate?"

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

When he saw her first strands of grey hair he thought she'd dye.

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

"You have a very rare conditioner."

"My secretary just made me aware of the necessity of investing in the beauty industry."

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

Week three, things started to get ugly.

"One can often infer things about the environment from the overall health of the bird population."

"You mean to say you haven't even put your face on yet?"

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"Have you ever been young before?"