Salon Regulars Gifts

"At least they got rid of that dreadful smell."

The adoration of the gels.

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Judge getting hair done.

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"So what's your success rate?"

Beauty Bee

"Yes, I have a home where the buffaloroam. Are you in the market?"

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

Eating the Cocktail Olive

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.

Jo's Beauty Salon. On vacation. Closed for Summer. That's when things got ugly.

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"He spoils them."

Man at bar: 'Drinking to forget?' Other man: 'Don't remind me!'

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

'Bartender! Will you please explain why my gaze has fallen upon a piece of wall not plastered with a blaring high-def TV???'

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

Queen with a crown-shaped hairdryer.

Medusa gets a trim.

"I'll be glad when I get rid of this handover!"

'Go ahead. I just love to have my nails cut.'

Dye now, pay later!