Salon Regulars Gifts

"At least they got rid of that dreadful smell."

The adoration of the gels.

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Judge getting hair done.

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

"Let's change things up a bit. Give me the crinkle cut."

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

Beauty Bee

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

"So what's your success rate?"

"Yes, I have a home where the buffaloroam. Are you in the market?"

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"He spoils them."

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.

Eating the Cocktail Olive

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

Man at bar: 'Drinking to forget?' Other man: 'Don't remind me!'

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

'Bartender! Will you please explain why my gaze has fallen upon a piece of wall not plastered with a blaring high-def TV???'

"Shall I give your eyebrows a little touch up, Miss?"

'Go ahead. I just love to have my nails cut.'

"I'll be glad when I get rid of this handover!"

Dye now, pay later!

Medusa gets a trim.

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

Queen with a crown-shaped hairdryer.