Beard Collector Gifts

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Joined at the hipster.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Emergency Hipster Beard

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

wattle covers

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

The Beard in the Stone

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

'Long shift?'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Bearded Leftie.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"I noticed a few browns."

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

Your five o'clock shadow is showing, Mike.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

The Organic

Official Team Cap With Beard

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'