Scarf Collector Gifts

'Is it cold or is it just me?'

"Now, this little scarf is just to give you that completely dressed feeling."

Robber's scarf matches headscarf of victim.

"Your obsession with scarves is getting worse, Gene."

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Football supporters.

'I'll take them all.'

Don't you like it, Dad?

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Why giraffes hate winter

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

"I find that I don't need to hibernate as early if I wear a cardigan."

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"Think of these as the car your face is driving."

'You'll grow into it!'

Outlaw Quilting Bees

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Bad Outfit Alarm.

Favorite Selections from 800,000 Things To Do With a Scarf

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

'No thanks, just squinting.'

Campaign for real beer bellies.