Scarf Seeker Gifts

"That cozy scarf is yours?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Pampered and poodled.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

Mister Pretty Shoes

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"I don't like your application."

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Do you do much walking?"

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

Elegant woman in backless dress.

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Changing Room Decisions