Scarf Seeker Pillows

"That cozy scarf is yours?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Pampered and poodled.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"I don't like your application."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Do you do much walking?"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Elegant woman in backless dress.

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'I'll take it!'

Changing Room Decisions

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."