Fashion Seeker Pillows

'Where are the jockey shorts?'

Big & Tall Clothing: Moved to larger store.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Leadership suits you

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Men's business romper.

Cat Tie

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Mrs Howell packs 200 changes of clothing for a 3-hour tour.

Keeping warm.

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

wattle covers

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Mister Pretty Shoes