Fashion Fun-seeker Pillows

Man looks in changing room mirror and sees himself backwards.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Born to be Mild.

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Late Bloomers

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Shooting - No. III

X. O. Whaddaya say we take a break from tic-tac-toe for some hugs 'n' kisses?

'I made a good living applying tattoos and a fortune removing them.'

"Apparently 'the vest' is making a comeback..."

'Consider it part of a stimulus package. Do a good job cleaning out the gutters and you get the hole box.'

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

"I'm telling you, you need to try interval hopping."

Figure 1. Termite queen maternity wear

"Do they make my feet look big?"

"I don't know...it's just not you."

Tandem cyclists

Tattoo Parlour: 'I brought the pig because I have no space left.'

Weight washers.

"The DVD you want is on my right earlobe."

Every morning, the 'who's gonna be first?' cold seat standoff.

Beginner Level Escalators

'You need more exercise Mrs Pilchard. Why don't you take my dog for his walk?'

Dog Tattoo

'Forget it, Bob, they're way to skinny!'

"Why can't summer last forever?"

'It says white man got a tattoo, in chinese.'

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

"The birds keep trying to get into my pants."

Author who wants his novel pierced.

"Everything goes right to my hips."

'Where are the jockey shorts?'