Fashionable Humor Seeker Pillows

'Forget it, Bob, they're way to skinny!'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Piranhaclaus

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Oh, crap.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"It's probably just seasonal."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

Shell Fire

'I'm an atheist!'

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

Fishing Boat Derby

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"