Beach Day Buffoonery Gifts

'Donald! You're wearing your thong back to front!'

Beach con-man.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Beer Parasol.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Mobsters at the Beach

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"George, I think factor 50 would probably be enough."

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'Typical male: Too proud to ask for directions or take advice! Look at us now!'

"Not exactly a snowman!"

'The exercise ball really worked! I fell off it and ended up in the hospital. Couldn't stand the food and lost enough weight to fit into this suit.'

"Hey, you're not allowed to bait deer." (hunter trying to bait deer with a corn cob on a fishing hook, other hunter saying its not legal)

Lost a sandal?

'I am wearing my bikini!'

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

On A Polluted Beach

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

'There goes Tokyo.'

'I wanted a burial service, he wanted cremation, so I decided to compromise and have him clambaked.'

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

"The starfish doesn't want to stay on top of our Christmas tree!"

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Whoah - surfs up!'

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

Beaches by a power station

'You! Shame on you!'

Muscle bound freak scares man to death then buries him in sand.

"I'm never using SPF zero again."

"Do you recognise the individual who stole your chips on the pier?"

Donkey Rides - Not for overweight children.

"This is not what I had in mind when you said you'd take me whale-watching."

'Martin doesn't like the sun...He prefers it in the shade!'