Beach Bully Humor Gifts

Muscle bound freak scares man to death then buries him in sand.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Brighton Bersagliere.

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

Mankini - One size fits all.

'I think its being tapped.'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

'I think your pot has roasted.'

"Don't pull the draw string too tight - you'll choke yourself out."

Why do men wear long short pants?

"Not exactly a snowman!"

'I am wearing my bikini!'

Tsunami Selfie

"All you cockroaches, …. When he tries to listen to the ocean, … run as fast as you can into his ear."

'You know, I don't think I've ever seen a Bank Holiday before...'

'A working vacation, your honor?'

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

Sure, she could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk, shock the jock, lock the dock or even hawk a little sunblock.

'POSTED! TOPLESS BATHERS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT!'

'Last week he gave me artificial recreation.'

'Whoah - surfs up!'

'Erica, you're a cutie and I really like you, but your way to do French kissing makes me nervous!'

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

"Not only are you in violation of the city nude beach ordinance....I also believe that shell is on the endangered species list."

"The starfish doesn't want to stay on top of our Christmas tree!"

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

'If it's not bothering you, I wouldn't bother having it removed.'

'It keeps Harold from oogling all of the bathing beauties.'

'You! Shame on you!'

'How long have you been a life-guard Mister?'

"Have you heard about what the fiberglass in surfboards can do to you?"

The Leathery, Shapeless speedo sporter.