Battle Humor Aficionado Gifts

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

"You can let that go till later, Harris."

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

Your Country Needs MOO!

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

Ad Valorem

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

'I keep yelling at my privates.'

"Bad news Darling, I'm going to be posted abroad"

'When you ordered the troops to charge, sire, they went into town and ran up a huge bar tab.'

Recruit Depot - Barber. That barber is fast! He knows a short-cut!

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

"Is something funny, soldier?"

'We had no idea you were coming' - ACME Stealth Missile

Really big bang

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

"Boots on the ground are one thing. Boots on my table quite another."

Cat tipping a fish out of a bird box

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

The changing of the guard.

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

I'm glad I'm wearing boxers!

"Duty calling on line two, sir."

The True Reason of War. A Little Frontier Incident in Alsace, July 1914.

Army PR: 'Okay,stand to attention men! Here comes the Brigadeer!'

"Then it's agreed. I'll send you a lieutenant in exchange for a clerk typist and a staff sergeant."