Batting Fanatic Gifts

The short pitched ball, and how to handle it

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Alternative fielding positions

Ball as water-melon.

Cricket Accidents.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Hockey Season.

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"