Battery Believer Gifts

Tell Santa What You Want. ... And tell your goof-off elves that last year they forgot the batteries!

That one has all the batteries!

AA Meeting Here Today

Lithium Fair

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

'Oh, he was bored with the toys within hours, but he's still enjoying the batteries.'

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

'Dad, all I got are batteries for my birthday!'

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

'We have praying mantises. They're good for the garden as long as they don't pray for the spinach.'

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

'They say it was a truly enlightened electorate this year, Congressman.'

"I guess we'll all just have to vote a little bit harder next time."

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

"I started this company in my parents basement. I kept a backup copy in case I ever need to start another."

"Lucky beast....No factory farming, no suffering at the slaughterhouse...perfect."

"It's nice and all, but it only holds AA's...."

"I think we're supposed to connect the positive wire here and the negative wire there. But I can't."

Dead Batteries

"I know what I'm talking about. That battery is dead."

'Yeah, we don't need marionette strings anymore. Everything is done with bluetooth!'

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

"You're far too negative."

'. . . of course, batteries are not included.'

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

'Oh-oh -- they're having a big war over which one of us to worship!'

"Take me to David Bowie."

"We're running low on Lithium Power, Captain! I've flipped them around and now I'm rubbing them but they've not got much juice left!"

'He died accidentally when the flash light he was in was left on all night.'

The AdRams Family no.19 - Batteries for presents

Battery Juice Bar

"I'm glad my phone battery died. My autobiography needed some drama."