Battery Skeptic Gifts

'The cost of batteries is so high these days, I've started having sex with my husband.'

"I'm glad my phone battery died. My autobiography needed some drama."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

That one has all the batteries!

I.T. Fear

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

AA Meeting Here Today

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

Privacy

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.

Diner is served

Lithium Fair

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"