Battery Critic Gifts

'Fred soon loses his enthusiasm for his battery operated power drill.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

That one has all the batteries!

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

AA Meeting Here Today

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Twitter censorship

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Someday

Samuel Beckett

Seamus Heaney

"You'll never believe who's here."

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

Lithium Fair