Bartender Humor Gifts

"What other tricks does he need?"

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Now I really hate poetry."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'No ice.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Join me in a Martini?

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

We'll have Manhattans...

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

'No standing while room is in motion.'

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

Happy Hour

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."