Bartending Gifts

"Do you think terrorists could ever poison the vodka supply?"

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

"Looks like someone's eyes are bigger than his liver."

The birth of the martini

'To do this job effectively, you've got to be well educated I speak Heineken, Beck's, Guinness, Stella Artois, Tuborg,,,'

Cause and Effect.

"It's been a dog of a year - seven years of trouble packed into one year's time."

Join me in a cosmopolitan?

"There's no secret formula. I basically just pour scotch over ice."

"No actually, I'll have a dry white wine and a soda."

Australian Careers Days

'I'll have another scotch and my chimera will have a Cosmo.'

'Better make it a double, Jake. I've had a really hard day.'

'No, I'm not bald - I'm shaved...There is a difference.'

"Buck up, go home and be nice to the new kitty."

"Grasshoppers all around."

"No way, you guys are angels? I have a GREAT idea for a miracle."

'The one on the left is a beverage analyst for Huff & Swoon, and the one on the right is a drunk; or is it the other way around?'

"The days of the bartender-psychologist are over, but I can help if you have any software problems."

'Yeah, he's really good. Too bad he can only make one drink.'

"You must be the new barmaid."

"Where's my bouncer when I need him?"

Between Sequels: 'May the sauce be with you.'

"I'm making an effort to limit my dependence on foreign vodka.

'Don't you DARE!'

'We all have trade-offs in life, Mrs. Quigley. I wanted to be a bartender.'

'The usual.'

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

"No question, Lefty, you've still got it."

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

"My low consumer confidence notwithstanding I'll have a double."

Ice pack for the heart.

"I'm Artie. I'll be your beverage consultant."

"How about a drink for a harbinger of spring?"

"I'm still working on the salt rim."