Bartender Gifts

"I'm a citizen of the world, but I'm based in Bayonne."

Dickens' First Encounter with a Martini

"Please, John, not the cheap Scotch. My body is a temple."

Foot Fetish Bar: Tonight - Wet Sock Contest

"Scotch and toilet water?"

"Can I see your ID? Wait, never mind. Wait - yeah, I need to see your ID? Wait --"

"I'm starting a startup that helps other startups start up."

"Personally, I prefer a piano bar."

'What do you mean you're out of ice?'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"For the last time - you and your horsie get away from me and stay away!"

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

"I'm a big fan of your work."

"What would you boys think if we started selling books?"

Olive Martini Guillotine

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Now, if New York were sunny and bright like Colorado, then that would be another story."

ONE HORSE TOWN

From The Museum Of Modern Art's Collection Of American Mixology......The Mies Martini

"Do you think terrorists could ever poison the vodka supply?"

"This martini in canonical."

Mine Host.

"Beats me - I've never dealt with a sovereign debt crisis before."

"Are you just pissing and moaning, or can you verify what you're saying with data?"

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

'Drugs...I've never seen the point of them myself!'

Out of Ice.

Worm job fair.

"Another round?"

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"What I drink and what I tell the pollsters I drink are two different things."

"What other tricks does he need?"

'What is this, some kind of joke?'