Barnyard Romancer Gifts

Christmas Cow.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Cow Show Tunes

Cock A Doodle

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"I always knew you'd come back."

Moo! OOM!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Ham-Dram

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

'Your barn door's open.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'Is it slop yet?'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

'No. I insist. You first.'

"We need less cowbell!"

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

Daisy was adamant she was not going to give any of her milk away today!