Barnyard Beats Lover Gifts

"He loves country music."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Cow Show Tunes

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Moo! OOM!

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Ham-Dram

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

'Your barn door's open.'

Christmas Cow.

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Is it slop yet?'

"Dad...how do you know when to stop?"

"be-be-be-be"

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

"We need less cowbell!"

'No. I insist. You first.'

'Orchestra Pit Bull.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Abandon Sheep.'

Sheep Ballast

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

Throw another hedgehog on the fire, would you pet?

"I believe in eggs, and I think that you all believe in eggs, too!"

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

Barn Wedding

'Come on girls, can you at least pretend I rule the roost when the farmer is around...'

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"